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Entry 12-27-03
Paranoia.

In the last ten days, I have dreamed:

* that I was in a tall skyscraper which was struck by lightning and fell over and collapsed,

* that I was held down on the ground and executed with a bullet to the head,

* that I scrambled to press a button which would turn off a bomb, but which set it off instead.

The last time I was food-shopping in Long's Drugs, I paused and looked up at the acoustical ceiling, and in that moment I imagined the whole building being crushed inward by the pressure wave of a nuclear explosion, picturing what that would be like, everything crumpling inward and blowing away like leaves in the wind, and I think I would really groove on that if I wasn't also busy dying myself. Anyway, it didn't happen, but I still didn't buy anything at Long's that afternoon.

So I suppose that if I die in the near future I had fair warning.


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